One part of the PBS documentary "Growing up Online" particularly resonated with me. I felt that the woman who was the PTA president and mother of four teenagers was the epitome of what we would term these days as a "helicopter parent." Most teenagers, including myself, would have no sympathy for parents who feel the need to monitor every move their children make. However, watching this documentary made me realize that if a teenager is willing to put personal information about him- or herself on the internet for anyone in the world to see, he or she has no right to get mad at his or her parents for attempting to see that same information. Although this does not change the fact that I personally would never give my parents the passwords to my Facebook or MySpace accounts, I cannot deny them the right to see information I put on the internet in places where it is accessible to the public. When both of my parents got Facebook accounts, I had the option and the right to deny their friend requests just like I do with any other person.
As the documentary also states, however, parents generally have no cause for worry when it comes to internet predators. Because our generation is so internet-oriented, schools have recently begun to conduct more education regarding internet safety. One study shows that 82% of teenagers' instant message partners are close friends from school.1 Adolescents and teenagers generally know how to practice safe internet usage, and if a parent is concerned about his or her child's internet safety knowledge, he or she can talk to the child to share this information.
1http://www.cdmc.ucla.edu/downloads/Adolescent%20Internet%20usepdf.pdf <http://www.cdmc.ucla.edu/downloads/Adolescent%20Internet%20usepdf.pdf>
Personally, I would rather be open with my parents about my Facebook. My mom has my password and can look around whenever she wants. With my mom, she just wants to be connected with what is going on with my friends, but I don't really want her be TOO connected as she would be if she had her own Facebook. This way she can get on my account and look at my friends, our pictures and what is going on with everyone, and at the same time she is checking on me to know that I am not doing anything bad. I don't have anything to hide from my parents, but I would not want my mom to have her own Facebook to where she would constantly be on it looking at everything my friends and I do. If I had something to hide from my mom then I would not be comfortable giving her my password, but she knows I have nothing to hide. Using my profile, she can be in the loop on everything, but not bothering me and my friends.
ReplyDeleteI completely agree with Mckenzie's point of view. I do think parents have the right of disclosure in regards to their child's Facebook. The job of a parent is to rear their child to be a decent kind of person, and I think monitoring their Facebook goes along with that territory. Sure as a child one might hate it and see it as an invasion of privacy, but the ability of a parent to hold their child accountable goes a long way in the end. This situation is comparable to asking where their child is going when they leave the house or wanting to know what they do with their weekends. It just makes sense. Now that said, I would never hand over my Facebook password to my parents. At this point in my life, it is my responsibility to make my own decisions, and I see giving away my password as giving away that power. For younger children that might be a different story, but now that I am older it becomes more and more my responsibility to make my own decisions and deal with the consequences be it my parents' or the world's.
ReplyDeleteI agree. I believe parents have the right to know what their child is doing online. Children and adolescents do not always have the best discretion, and that is exactly why they have parents. Parents are there to guide their children and help them determine what is right or wrong and what they should or shouldn't do. Like Moses said, knowing what a child is doing online is just like knowing what they are doing at a friend;s house or on a Friday night.
ReplyDeleteAs far as facebook is concerned, I think parents should be allowed to access their child's account if the child is younger than eighteen. No, I never gave my parents my password, but they never asked. My parents have taken other precautions in hopes to monitor our computer use, like having the computer in their room. They always knew where we were and our plans, and because of this, my parents have no problem trusting me.
I think each family needs to find their own balance. Parents should be involved in their children's lives, but the children should also have a since of privacy. I believe the PTA mom from the video was a bit overbearing and this made the communication between her and her kids strained.
I agree that parents have the right to see things that we put on our public profiles. I do have a problem, though, with "helicopter parents," like the PTO president in the video, who tell all the other parents what's going on. I feel like talking to their kids one-on-one would have been a much better response. If the parents go behind their children's backs like that, they have annihilated any amount of trust that they might have had in their parent-child relationship. However, if that particular mom had spoken to her son and expressed her concern, I feel like they could have gone from there as to telling other parents.
ReplyDeleteI've never had a problem with parents trying to pry into my activities online, but perhaps thats because I've never given them reason to. I think that the so called "helicopter mom" from the video was probably a bit overbearing but we don't know if she was with out cause in doing so. There is a point when I believe parents can be too involved in their kid's lives and don't allow any room for their children to develop into their own person.
ReplyDeleteI think that if any parent allows their kid to get a facebook account or even use the internet exclusively before they reach their teenage years should keep a very close eye on them, but one they reach a certain point you should feel confident enough in their upbringing to not need to be looking over their shoulder when ever they are online. You could sort of look at it in the same way as someone getting their driver's license, they are qualified to drive by themselves with out having a supervisor in the seat next to them until they prove that they aren't.
I think what is scary to me is that I remember as a child/teenager never being quite aware of the dangers the internet holds. I knew, like the kids in the clip, who not to talk to - but I never realized that when I posted on my blog or put up pictures that I wasn't just showing my friends.. I was showing EVERYONE. Understanding that now, and as I get older, I can relate more and more to concerned parents. I would gladly hand over my password to my parents simply because I have nothing to hide and I TRY to get them involved in my life on Facebook. It's not a secret identity, I don't have things I want to keep from them.. it's just an extension of the life I life in reality, so why not they be a part of it? Maybe I just have that relationship with my parents and it's different for others, I just feel like hearing the PTO mom talk I could totally see where she was coming from. Although I do agree she was a little overbearing, it makes me wonder how I will try to monitor my children. Where is the happy medium? Is there one? Every person reacts so differently to situations involving their privacy (my sister, for instance, would never hand over her password) so how is a parent to decide where to draw the line? It's scary and a little unnerving to know that when I was 12 and constantly on the internet my parents had no idea what I was doing and how they could have helped if something were to have happened. Although I realize that as technology is becoming more and more a part of newer generations' lives they are becoming more aware of what to do and what not to do, it is still a concern for all caring parents and a tough call to make.
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